Cringes

2 am and wide awake
That's when the cringes come
Sneaking out from back of brain
They swarm,  they buzz,  they hum

I then remember and regret
Such tiny little things
None but me recall them now
But darkness gives them wings

A song sung loud with words misheard
In front of special girl
Though twenty-five years have now past
I cringe now as thoughts twirl

Or when I stood 'fore crowded room
And Freud swapped "left"  for "right"
Bad when talking politics
My thoughts remind tonight

That sitcom moment when lass told
Of friend for whom she lusted
I thought it me,  I had it wrong
My thoughts cannot be trusted

My cringing thoughts and memories
They don't leave room for cheer
And focus often on disgrace
On id set free by beer

They twist and turn and stab at self
No dark stone left unturned
Any notion of self worth
By inquisition burned

By light of day I'd laugh at them
Or at least contextualise
See them for what they really are
But night is cruel. It lies.