Bootstraps and bicycles

It takes practice, and effort,  but can't you see? 

You need to apply,  be successful like me! 

You need to try harder,  and work longer hours, 

Just like us that grew up in ivory towers

Just grease up your elbows and get stuck on in

Underactive thyroid? Just will yourself thin! 

Just jump on your bike and go searching for work

While tugging your bootstraps - you don't want to shirk 

Your responsibility to work two more jobs

On zero hours contracts, you're not lazy slobs

The work it is out there,  just take it from me

Just keep looking harder,  and soon you will be

With graft and with effort,  with good honest sweat

Seeing less of your kids,  but you'll have no regrets

You'll teach them a lesson,  of what effort gets

A minimum wage that can't cover your rent

A pension that might pay if you don't die first

An old age still working,  to slack is the worst

A home that is cold - you're not active enough

You're just going soft,  need to be far more tough

Work hard till you're eighty, if then still alive

put off your retirement till age eighty-five 

And show all these youngsters what a work ethic is

Blame hardship on foreigners - they're taking the piss! 

Or those who get benefits - they're just idle scum

Watch Jeremy Kyle,  while scratching their bum

Just don't blame bosses who create the wealth

And kindly share some out -  no thought for their self

Benevolent heroes,  are our CEOs

They invest really hard,  so stay on your toes

They have to cut costs,  so sorry,  you're sacked

Just try harder next time, and it is a fact

That you could get rich, beyond your wildest dreams 

Your wallet so stuffed,  it'll burst at the seams

If we just make it cheaper,  to hire and to fire

If we break all the unions,  your pay will be higher

We'll just cut your wages,  for a few years just now

boost dividends this year but then we'll somehow 

Make you so much richer, in a few years hence

But sorry,  not next year,  it's too big an expense

Our poor shareholders need big dividends

On their confidence,  our country depends! 

So suffer for Britain,  for a few years more

Stop saying you're broke,  you dull left wing bore

It's all labour's fault,  nowt to do with the banks

bankers need their bonuses, so we pay them, with thanks

It's nothing to do with the rich, not at all

We must protect them, if their stocks fall

Our system is super, just look and see

Our system makes folk rich,  like my friends and me!