In Gala was our hero born,
A rotund Babe with baldy head
Precursor of his future form
A hairless crown with beard instead
In Peebles raised by maw and paw
A brother soon they added
Through border hills our hero roamed
Though gut grew richly padded
At Priorsford he went to school
His chums there were so many
Kickabouts and adventures
were more than ten a penny
At PHS he passed some tests
Whilst learning with his buddies
With Bruce and Zico, Chris and Hogge
They excelled at media studies
At seventeen he left his hame
And set off for Dundee
Made friends and more, he somehow passed
And came out with degree
Then signing on, he was told
To go for interview
He got the job, in shop he worked
All thanks to the burroo
While at the shop he chased a lad
Who had stole wee girl's pants
Lad pulled a knife, our hero froze
And nearly soiled his scants.
Then Revenue a job offered
With salary and pension
Our hero joined, joined pcs
His life gained new dimension
For twelve years now, Our hero's toiled,
for employer and for justice
You've heard his tale, and may now wonder
Quite what all the fuss wis.
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